How I Learned To Accept My Changed Body

Many women dream to have an hourglass figure. With many magazines and ads portraying celebrities in their perfect form, it puts the standard of being fit at a very high level. Struggling with PCOS, I have always struggled with my weight. When I starved myself before, the lowest that I got on the scale was only 120 lbs. And I noticeably had a fuller waist, even if the other parts of me were thin.

I was only diagnosed with PCOS when I was in my early 20’s, and it somehow explained why my body seemed like an inflatable balloon. There were times when I was so bloated, and there were other times when I’d immediately have noticeable weight loss. Even before I got diagnosed, the weight fluctuations were huge. Right before having my period, I couldn’t fit into my usual jeans because I’d easily put on 10 lbs. And a week after my period, I’d slowly shed it off unintentionally.

But after my pregnancy, these weight fluctuations became so much worse. I now have to work hard on losing the pounds that I unconsciously gained while waiting for my period. When I easily lost the added weight before, I now have to work extra hard just to lose all the weight from being so bloated. When I see friends whom I haven’t seen for a while, they’d ask me if I was on steroids! It’s really that crazy.

Since I felt so out of control, I went into depression and I struggled with my very low self-esteem. Somehow I secretly envied pregnant women because they can flaunt their growing bellies, while I am so miserable with mine. But after feeling so sorry for myself, I decided to learn more about PCOS so that I can accept my changing physical appearance.

It took me around 2 years to accept this apple shaped figure. Since then, I no longer worry too much on whoever I end up bumping at the mall or at the grocery store because I have realized that despite my flaws, this is the body that carried my baby until almost term. And although I’d love to get back in shape, I have learned to accept that it may take longer for me to achieve my goal as compared to other women.

If you have PCOS and you are upset with how you look, never feel that you are alone. After I started to interact with other PCOS women, I have learned to admire their strength and their will to make the most out of life. These women taught me that despite our struggles, life is still beautiful even if it’s with PCOS!

My Take On Diet Pills

From crash dieting to starving myself, I have already tried various weight loss strategies so I can just lose the excess pounds. After repeatedly eating green salads and working out five times a week, I was dumbfounded to find that I only lost a total of 3 pounds in one whole month! To me, that was a clear indication of how my body has changed over the years. I really didn’t have a problem with weight loss before, but now it has become extremely hard to lose more than 1 pound!

My desperation has led me to try out different products for weight loss. With plenty of weight loss agents claiming fast results, I felt that there was hope. Here are the products that I have tried:

1.     Lesofat (Orlistat) – I took this for more than three months without any noticeable results. It was partly because I did not follow the prescribed dose. I was told to take one capsule after every meal, but there were times when I would intentionally miss a dose because the effect would just disrupt my schedule.  Each time I took the medication, I was afraid to go out because I may need to go to a toilet soon afterwards.

2.    Fitrum Green Tea Capsules – I didn’t take this long because I was not convinced that it can bring about results. As the name implies, fitrum contains green tea extracts, which have long been found to improve one’s health. While there is no question to that, I am skeptical at how it can particularly aid weight loss – especially with PCOS.

3.    Reductil (Sibutramine) – Before I got pregnant, I lost so much weight with this product. But now, it is a totally different story because of the hormonal imbalance. Regardless of that, I still like this product because it can help control the cravings that I have due to my insulin resistance. Even with little food, I feel full or satisfied throughout the day. The downside is that it can cause palpitations and it is also quite pricey. From all the products that I have tried, this is the one that works for me.

4.    Zhen de Shou – I would never recommend this to anybody even if I lost 12 pounds on it during the initial treatment. I was first attracted to it because of its claim to help you lose so much weight in so short a time. In a month, I lost inches around my tummy. While I liked the idea of losing pounds, I was already bothered with several side effects.  The most troublesome was having insomnia because I just could not sleep regardless of how tired I was.

To add to that, I felt quite unsettled not knowing how it can affect my health in the long run. Their site claims that it doesn’t have to be BFAD approved just because it’s a nutritional supplement. But the nature of dietary supplements is supposedly to improve health. Without too much data available about its effects and side effects, I am very afraid to take it despite its initial effectiveness. After stopping it, I gained back what I lost in a matter of weeks.

With plenty of dietary supplements that can be purchased anywhere, it’s better to choose those that are prescribed by a doctor. Do not be fooled by products that boast of instantaneous results because it may only cause rebound weight gain. Bear in mind that there is no short cut to losing weight. And despite weight loss agents that claim to aid weight loss, the tried and tested formula of dieting and exercising is still the safest approach.

Burning Calories In 30 Minutes

Aside from the gym, I have also tried other types of physical activities just to get the boredom out of my routine. Since DH is “allergic” to the gym, I have somewhat dragged him along to do other physical activities because let’s face it, I can’t play badminton alone. The key to finding the right activity is when you get the exercise that you need, and you still have fun in the process.

Over the years, I have become pretty good at making excuses so I can just skip exercising. When the weather is not too good, I’d declare an “exercise holiday” because I just can’t go outdoors. But for my mom, my excuses are all not acceptable. She has always emphasized that you can still burn calories even if you are indoors. I guess she’s right. While the options may be limited, you can still dance or do other exercises in the comfort of your own home. I would like to share what my doctor gave me —it’s taken from the Club Red Booklet. Depending on the type of activity, here’s the number of calories that you can burn in 30 minutes of continuous exercise:

1.     Jogging – 180 calories
2.    Cycling (leisure) – 106 calories
3.    Cycling (racing) – 279 calories
4.    Swimming (slow) – 211 calories
5.    Swimming (fast) – 257 calories
6.    Swimming (breaststroke) – 267 calories
7.    Swimming (backstroke) – 279 calories
8.    Dancing (ballroom) – 84 calories
9.    Dancing (aerobic, medium) – 170 calories
10.    Dancing (aerobic, intense) – 223 calories
11.    Gymnastics – 109 calories
12.    Volleyball – 74 calories
13.    Basketball – 228 calories
14.    Table Tennis – 112 calories
15.    Badminton – 180 calories
16.    Tennis – 180 calories
17.    Golf – 140 calories

While I am quite tempted with swimming, I just can’t see myself wearing a bikini anytime soon! I guess I have to work hard on that. For now, I have welcomed back my dance CD’s, and I am also trying hard to regularly jog or work out. I need to run a marathon so I can lose some weight, but I’m slowly working my way towards my ultimate goal. What’s your usual exercise routine? I would really appreciate it if you can share your exercise secrets!

Setting My Mind For Endless Hours In The Gym

When I started this blog, I have decided to make this year a time of change. Although I have PCOS, it should no longer be an excuse why I could not look great. Although DH (darling husband) doesn’t have many issues with it, I seem to have plenty. Being a woman, sometimes it’s frustrating not to dress up the way that you want just because you just feel so bloated all year round!

When I look at myself at the mirror, I now see a body that is distinct with PCOS – my belly, hips and thighs seem to be the reservoir of everything in excess. When you work hard to shed off some pounds, it can totally drive you crazy why all the excess is still there despite your effort. It’s not that I’m asking for far too much, it’s just that sometimes I feel that it’s not fair. People in the gym tell me that I am such a hard worker because I’m there most of the time. And I happen to have the longest cardio exercise than anyone else. But sadly, I am still the one with the smallest weight loss. Sigh! I guess I just have to take it positively, so I can work doubly hard to fight off more PCOS symptoms.

If you want to know how I can last long hours at the gym, it’s all about mind setting. I don’t think many people are too happy running a marathon on the treadmill, or even lifting weights for that matter. Somehow I have dealt with all these issues with the right frame of mind. While working out, I try to visualize the end results. I miss my old clothes that were figure flattering and I would like to see myself in great shape again. I guess that’s definitely the reason why gyms have full view mirrors just so you would see the areas that you need to work on. And my reflection doesn’t really make me happy. So even if it’s tiring to do cardio exercises for what may seem like an eternity, I would always think that every step that I take on that treadmill will take me closer to my goal.

And speaking of goals, it can get really frustrating not to see the results that you want despite having to work hard. When I cheat with my diet or skip working out, I go to the mall because it can help me get back on track. When I walk past shops that display clothes that I can’t wear, I would feel guilty because I didn’t follow my weight loss plan. By cheating, I am putting myself a step back from achieving my goals.

It takes a lot of determination to stay focused and work hard on your weight loss goals. But there is no short cut to weight loss. And my doctor has always reminded me not to crash diet and instead do it the healthy way. I have not accomplished 10% of my weight loss goal, but through time I have developed the right frame of mind to stay focused. And with that, I look forward to every work out that I do every day!